Sunday, August 23, 2015

This is not my world.



This is not my world.

Murders, rape, beatings, abuse, cheating, thievery, corruption, lies and more lies.  These are the orders of the day and I cannot take it much longer.  I’ve always felt “different” and I think that’s because I actually believed the loads of horseshit that society, school and my church put out.  I actually believed in good and love and honesty.  What an idiot!

Every time I’ve tried to put my beliefs in action, I’ve been taken advantage of.  I can’t take much more of that pain.  I’m so very tired of “fighting for what’s right” and getting kicked in the balls for my efforts.  I guess I don’t understand how to say one thing while doing another.  I guess I don’t understand an all powerful, all loving, all righteous “God” that tolerates, perhaps endorses, pain and suffering and death.  The growing disparity between what I’m told and what actually happens is beyond my comprehension.

I’ve felt this way since childhood.  I used to think that I was an alien on this planet, put here for some purpose I can’t decipher.  60 years later, I don’t feel much different.  None of this makes sense to me. 

This is not my world.  I think it might be time to leave.  I can no longer tolerate the noise in my head or the despair in my heart.

This is not my world.

No comments: